Who Said Politics isn't Religion?

He ventured forth to bring light to the world
by Gerard Baker


And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the

Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”



Amen.

"Boy howdy I love sports!"

Did you catch the all-star game?! 15 innings... incredible.

I'm not even a baseball fan, but, I guess it's really not about the baseball, is it? Is Baseball really what compelled 14.7 million people to watch till 1:37 am?

I have my doubts.

Isn't it really about the competition? Two sides competing with all they have to conquer the other. It's Human nature to want to be the best, or watch the best.

Just look at TV.

The last 10 years of television has been dominated by programs biased on competition. The struggle, the drama, the violence even. It's what we scream for: Conflict.

Is it any wonder then that the media outlets are breading grounds for drama?

Most make the argument that the media is biased politically. Some say toward the right, others toward the left.

False.

The media is biased... but toward conflict.

NBC, CNN, ABC, FOX, radio hosts like Sean Hannety, and Rush Limbaugh, watch or listen long enough to any of them and you'll find that each report, phrase, or rhetoric is used to to incite anger, disdain, or general hatred in one demographic toward a different group, action or demographic. To the media it's not about our or their opinion, or even what is right, but rather about the existence of an argument. Ratings, ratings, ratings. We crave conflict, and they bank on it.

Now, in the defense of the media outlets this is not a new problem. The media has focused on conflict for generations, and things have been worse. Through the early 20th century yellow journalism swept the nation, and newspapers everywhere published lies and filth for the sake of creating conflict. To them even artificial conflict was better than no conflict at all. However, with the creation of the FCC, and the introduction of government and industry regulation, the art of creating false conflict died; so they created a new toy to sell: political divisiveness.

No time in history has the media had such a broad influence and impact in our lives. technology has made sure of that. We cannot escape it today. Until recently the nation's political wounds had been closed and healing. The amount of split ticket votes hadn't been higher since the era of good feelings, but with the controversy of the last two elections, and the debates circling the war and many other polices of the current administration, the media has taken us in reverse. Their lust for controversy has born fruit. Division.

What was it Lincoln said? A house divided what?

"Proud to be an American"

Today as I arrived home, I found my parents in our living room with the home teachers. (Home teachers are members of our faith that visit once a month to visit, deliver a short message and offer their services if needed.) The lesson today was on our nation, and how we need to be good and active citizens. As an example of how we need to improve in our knowledge of how our great nation works he had compiled a quiz of a few of the questions on the exam taken to apply for citizenship. Of the 20 questions I missed three... to say the least I was disappointed that I missed that many. Lets see how you do.

Do you have what it takes to be a citizen of the United States?

1. How many stripes are there in the US Flag?

2. Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court today?

3. In what year was the Constitution written?

4. What rights were promised by the 1^st Amendment to the Constitution?

5. How many Supreme Court justices are there?

6. What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called?

7. When was the Declaration of Independence signed?

8. Name one Amendment that guarantees voting privileges.

9. What are the original 13 colonies?

10. What do the stripes on the flag represent?

11. What is the introduction to the Constitution called?

12. How many amendments to the Constitution are there?

13. What are the constitutional requirements to become the President of the United States?

14. Who selects the Supreme Court justices?

15. How many Representatives are there in Congress?

16. Who said, “Give me liberty or give me death!”?

17. Why did the pilgrims come to America?

18. Who has the power to declare war?

19. What INS form do you have to fill out in order to apply for citizenship?

20. Name three rights given by the Bill of Rights.

America has, in the last few decades, become more and more a nation of ignorance. A friend of mine, while attending school here on a student visa, (she was from Canada) commented that American news was offensive and annoying to her because it spends half an hour talking about how the local pie shop was going out of business then, spend literally one minute "The World in a Minute" on what was going on in the world. "How arrogant and ignorant you are," she'd proclaim! I, much to my dismay, had no retort except to proclaim my own non-ignorant state.

America, this is your call out.

We need to know what is going on around us. We need to get out of our "Jay-walking' attitude where it's cool to be dumb and stupidity praised, and pay attention. Ignorance is not strength nor bliss. So here's the challenge: take the quiz, if you can't answer one or are unsure, pull yourself away from halo and research it.

Learning, it does the body good.

A General Welcome

To quote a Mormon icon, "this is the right place."

But I want to be completely honest. THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION. It's about us.

My reason for this particular blog was to create a forum where anyone from any background can come and hear what it's like to be different. (and maybe discover that we're not all that different)

As my profile says, I'm a Mormon. Have been all my life and will probably be one forever. That makes me different than probably many of you, but the same at the same time, each of us has our own beliefs and our our qualities.

To many it seems that these differences are insurmountable.

I disagree.

That's the point of this blog. I promise to be perfectly honest here, and I hope that by learning about me you can learn about yourself and discover that maybe we're not so different.

So don't change that dial. Feel free to comment, ask questions, or just keep tabs on me.